losing my dad so young

hi everyone, my name is becca and i am a 17 year old girl from virginia, usa. i am currently about to start my senior year of highschool and i work as a part time starbucks barista. but before i am any of those things, i am a girl who’s dad unexpectedly died on her 16th birthday. i am a grieving teen, not only am i grieving the loss of someone so close, but it was my parent. the person who is supposed to protect you, take care of you, love you, and just be there is gone. my dad passed from many complications with coronary artery disease. he went to the doctor like he was supposed to, took his meds like he was supposed to, went through a 8 hour surgery just to have a little more time. but none of it worked. his life was cut so tragically short. he worked 2 jobs all the time just to take care of me and my mom, sometimes he worked 3. he ALWAYS made sure i had everything i needed AND wanted. if i wanted it, and he had a way to make that happen, it happened. my dad was the most incredible man i’ve ever met in my whole entire life. i find myself striving to be 1/2 of the person he was. grieving the loss of a parent isn’t just the sadness or the anger, it’s the disappointment and the loss of potential. i wish every single day that my dad would’ve at least got to see his only child get her license, or graduate high school, or walk her down the aisle, or hold her first child. but none of that will ever happen. and i’m learning to accept it and understand that life isn’t always fair to us. i’m also learning to accept the way that i grieve. there is so much judgement in the grief community that is absolutely disgusting. i have had SO many people tell me that using humor to cope is “inappropriate” or “rude” or “disrespectful.” wishing for more time won’t do me any good because the time is already gone. wishing for peace and structure to my new life is the best i can do. it was just recently a year since my dads passing. and the only advice i can give to anyone who is grieving is, listen to yourself and understand yourself. be there for you before anyone else can be.